Hope this helps me a lot. :)
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This is so much relieving.
Now, I have no burden in my mind anymore.
No fetter in my heart.
How light it is! :)
Oh... Is this the pleasant of being honest?
Yep, I've told her everything. EVERYTHING!
Including unnecessary stuff that has no meaning to her... hehe
By using short message service, I make an end of all.
It just took about 1 hour to vanish this 2-months-suffer.
If only I used another method of communicate, such as phone or face2face meeting, maybe it would get shorter. haha
BUT, there are some stuffs that I've been regreting 'till now.
At the first part, I already told her that I will be honest. 100% honest.
Yet, the fact was not that honest.
There are some parts that I've been hiding from her.
Especially, the-most-dramatic part of all.
I try to position myself at the lose-side. Being as modest as I could...
I admit, there are some stuffs that keep bothering me when I forced to lie.
I lied due to one goal, she shouldn't feel the pain.
And alhamdulillah, in my opinion, she didn't feel that pain at all. That's the point. :)
I found what i've been looking for: her forgiveness.
I kept at a distance what I've been avoiding: uncertainty.
I got what I've been searching for: her impression of me.
Yet, there is a question I haven't found the answer up 'till now: What makes me got attracted to her???
In fact, I never talk with her more than a minute!
So, how come you chase her like hell???
The answer is curiosity.
And I sure, this curiosity is much different with affection.
I don't know what I've been looking for from her.
I just realise that I filled up with curiosity stuff. That is the only reason why I chase her up.
All I know, this curiosity hasn't been cured.
Perhaps, only time will help me through.
THE POINT OF ALL...Share
This curiosity is the only reason which drove me this far.
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